Never Alone
by Cairadawn
Summary: In visiting her husband for one last time for the month, Bella remembers what is important. When the tears fall, and the snow settles, life will continue. It takes time, but even with Jasper gone and Bella's heart shattered, she knows she is never alone. A/H, song inspired


**This story came to me while was working on a chapter for another story... As I write I like to listen to music, depending on my mood or scene I'm trying to write will alter my music choice; I can go from classical, Chant, Christian to Country, Rock... Someone should ask Leckadams how many times I end up writing to Jesus Christ Superstar or Phantom of the Opera.**

**Anyway, this story came to me almost as soon as the song was over. **

**I thank Leckadams for reading through this and fixing the glaring problems with it!**

**I own nothing...not the song...nothing.**

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Bella slowly made her way along the path, her mind on her final destination; the tears already falling as she went. It had been the same for the last six months. She would make the same treck every day. Nobody said anything now when she would spread the blanket she carried and sat on the white covered grass. She wouldn't see the pity in their eyes when she started to take out the tattered letters or the framed photo.

"The parents don't think it is healthy for me to come anymore," Bella said softly. "They just don't understand. This is the only place I can truly feel you here by my side. It is the only place I know I'm not alone.

"I just wish you were with me, I don't think I can do this by myself anymore. I'm just so tired of it all," she said as she always did as the tears came in earnest now. Without much thought, Bella took part of the blanket laid down and covered herself with it.

"You always said you would be there, but you're not," she whispered to the picture. Trying to steep the tears, Bella closed her eyes only to be flooded with flashes of memories.

Meeting her true love at the Marines Ball. The beautiful burgundy ball gown that her mother had bought so she could go with her father that year. The way that it shimmered in the light, the way that she felt like a princess, still brought a smile to Bella's face. The way her father teased about having to beat the men off with a stick just to protect Bella's innocence, always made her laugh. In the end, there was only one that got past; the only one that mattered.

Bella knew the risks of falling for man in the military, seeing it first hand with her parents. But the moment that his arms wrapped around her waist, of his lips met hers, it didn't matter. Their romance was fast, they were inseparable.

Dates at the park. Drives out into the country. Picnics by the lake. Kisses under the stars. Bella's second Ball on the arm of her Jasper. She would never forget the moment when the lights went out, the music stopped, the spotlight came on and illuminated her love in his dress blues down on one knee asking for her hand. She never thought anything would top her first Ball; she never should have doubted that Jasper would make it special.

Just as everything else about them, they were married fast; not wanting to waste any time apart. It wasn't hard to plan a wedding fast, both knowing what they wanted. Only things that mattered to the both of them was for Bella to be in a beautiful ball gown, Jasper be in his dress blues, and for them to be married near Christmas. So five days before Christmas Bella walked into the church Bella Swan, and exited Isabella Whitlock.

They were married for a year, and Bella knew they were living in a bubble that could burst at any time. They had been lucky, though they knew it could change, that Jasper's orders had him stationed at home; only needing to leave for the near military base for short periods. During their time together they were able to set up their home, and start making plans for the future. The both of them wanted children, but put it into God's hand's; when the time was right, they would be blessed with a baby.

But their bubble started to ripple and waiver during the second year of marriage. First, it was Bella's mother becoming seriously ill and passing in meer months. As Bella cried on his shoulder, Jasper always held her tight. As she mourned for what she lost, Jasper was always there to reassure her.

Even now, as the snow started to fall blanketing the earth and Bella bundled in her quilt, she could hear the words that Jasper would whisper into her ear.

'_Even if you cannot see her, she is always there. She is apart of you and cannot be separated from you. Though she is invisible, just trust in the unseen. If you hold tight to that knowledge, believe that she is here; then you are never alone.'_

The second ripple to their bubble came as the land half a world away started to crumble. The middle east was on fire. Day after day, week after week, more soldiers were called to the frontlines. And though she prayed it never came, Bella knew Jasper soon would be next. He was a Major in the Marines, one of the youngest they had; they would need him.

The third and final ripple of the bubble, the one that caused it to burst came during the third month of their third year of marriage. Jasper got his orders; he was going to the frontlines and wouldn't be back for a year. To top everything off, one week before Jasper was to ship out, Bella found she was pregnant. No matter what, Jasper was going to miss the birth of his first child.

There was nothing either of them could do, they knew this was a possibility. So, being strong, Bella stood next to her soldier as he took his oath. She allowed him to walk her back to her father and his, hug her tight and kiss her cheek.

"I tried to make you promise to come home to me," Bella said one hand resting on her swollen stomach, "to the both of us. But you wouldn't do it, it wasn't something you could do," she wiped a tear from her eye. "Instead you just just said the same thing from when mom died."

'I am apart of you and cannot be separated from you. Although I am invisible, just trust in the unseen. No matter what happens, if you believe that then you are never alone.'

Bella shut her eyes against the falling snow, "It's just not the same."

Again, the memories took her; this time they were not happy. Doctor appointments without her husband. Family dinners without Jasper. Going out in public as her belly started to show and seeing the eyes of pity. Watching the news waiting for information, any information at all. Bella thought it would never end; but two months into it all, it did.

From the moment that the family had learned of Jasper's leaving, they had started to plan. They knew that Bella's life revolved around Jasper; if anything was to happen, she would fall to pieces. When they found out she was with child, they stepped up their plans. As soon as Jasper's plane left, Bella was never alone; there was always at least one member from their family with her.

The one day that she was alone, the one day that she was too sick to go shopping with her mother-in-law, Bella's life shattered.

It had started as a normal day; or a normal as it could get without Jasper. Esme, Jasper's mother, was there early and helped Bella with breakfast and any morning chores that needed to be done. At first Bella felt like a burden, but the morning sickness was reeking havoc with her body and she was tired; at the point Bella would take any help she could get.

That day the sickness seemed to be worse than normal and Bella had begged to stay home instead of shopping and rest. Bella promised Esme that she would stay curled up on the porch swing with a light blanket, a cup of tea, and a book. That she wouldn't move until Esme returned, or the bathroom called. Finally, Emse relented and left. Fifteen minutes later, Bella wished she had gone with her.

The moment the black government car pulled to the curb Bella knew. When the base chaplin stepped out with another man looking somber and bleak Bella knew. Bella knew her life as she knew it was over. Jasper wasn't coming home; not how she had hoped. Jasper was never going to meet his child.

"I needed you that day," she whimpered into the air. "I called for you, screamed for you; but you weren't there. I expected you to come through the door, but you never came."

She took a took a breath, tried to calm her breathing. "I still don't remember much of those early few weeks," Bella laughed hollowly to the picture. "I barely remember the chaplin calling Carlisle and dad when he realized I was alone."

It was true, the two weeks after were a complete blur. Vague flashes of images. Esme forcing her to eat. Carlisle checking her and the baby's vitals. Charlie held her as she cried herself to sleep. Bella hugging the flag draped coffin of her husband and love when it came off the plane. Being offered the flag and the 'thanks of a grateful nation' at the funeral. Being the only one left to watch as Jasper was lowered into the ground. More of Esme. More of Carlisle, of Charlie.

Now it had been months since, and while it still hurt as if someone had ripped out her heart and stomped it into the ground, Bella was doing better. She was still on constant watch by the family, but their guard wasn't so stiff anymore. She was eating without prompting. Taking vitamins without fuss. Going out, with an escort, without breaking down.

The only place she went by herself was to visit Jasper, though they were starting to worry about that. Bella could see where they were coming from, she was basically due anytime now. Even though Bella only stayed for an hour at most, it scared the family to have her out of site and outside in the cold for so long.

"They don't think this is healthy," Bella repeated from earlier as she finally at up from the ground. "And, as much as I don't think I can do this by myself, I agree with them." She turned to the little white stone carved with Jasper's name for the first time. "I might think I feel you here the most, I did when I first came; but you were right.

"Although I cannot see you, and I can't explain why you placed a deep reassurance in my life. We cannot separate because you're part of me. And though you're invisible, I'll trust in the unseen. So I'll hold tight to what I know; you're here and I'm never alone."

Slowly, Bella rose from the ground and gathered her things. With the letters and photo tucked into her pockets and the quilt draped over her arm, she readied herself to head back home. "I don't know when I will be back," she said, a hand resting on the stone. "I'm so big, I think I am going to pop if I sneeze too hard. I am," she paused for a moment, "not better now, but stronger. I remember now. I am never alone.

Story inspired by the acoustic version of "Never Alone" by Barlow Girl, a Christian Band. I also admit that I wrote this BEFORE seeing the video that went with the song.

"Never Alone"

I waited for you today

But you didn't show

No no no

I needed You today

So where did You go?

You told me to call

Said You'd be there

And though I haven't seen You

Are You still there?

[Chorus:]

I cried out with no reply

And I can't feel You by my side

So I'll hold tight to what I know

You're here and I"m never alone

And though I cannot see You

And I can't explain why

Such a deep, deep reassurance

You've placed in my life

We cannot separate

'Cause You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

We cannot separate

You're part of me

And though You're invisible

I'll trust the unseen

[Chorus]

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Thanks for reading...this is the shortest thing I have EVER written.


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